Well, it's definitely been a LONG time since I've written on here. So much has happened I almost don't have enough time or energy to type it all...
Well, to start, all my previous posts included a boy named Trae. Between then and now, we have broken up and been separated for over a year now. It ended badly due to awful decisions on both ends, but it has been resolved and I am currently still in contact with him. We are still great friends, and we still can talk like we did before anything ever happened, but due to schedules and time zones it gets harder to find time to do so.
About 3 or 4 months after Trae and I separated, I swore I'd never find someone to love ever again unless it was him. Boy was I wrong. I had met a boy named Alequa the year before at the JROTC summer camp called JCLC, and upon returning for my third and final time, I saw him again. We had become friends from the previous year, but we didn't get to talk much the year in between due to busy schedules. But as soon as we pulled into the base, I remembered him and thought about whether he had been able to come back again this year as he wanted. Upon pulling up to the barracks, I looked out the window and I saw him. My heart started racing and I thought I could have strangled the bus driver if I didn't get off the bus soon and say hello! But to make a VERY long story short, I saw him again, and just as tiny sparks were kindled the year before but were buried due to being taken at the time and not willing to cheat on the boyfriend I had, they were reflamed the very next year upon seeing him again. We spent just about every second we could together, and the second to last day before we left, he asked me out. I wasn't sure what the right decision was because long distance relationships didn't work out so well the last times I tried, but an hour away didn't seem so bad. But I asked for time to think, to counsel with my mom, and to pray, and he granted my request with a smile. That very same night I talked with my mom, but in the end she told me it was ultimately my decision whether I should or not, not hers. So I prayed. I prayed hard, and in the morning I asked God again, "What should I do?" And his reply was, "Go for it." I was completely overjoyed, and as soon as breakfast let out, I know it sounds corny and strange, but I walked up to him and told him, "I've decided to take you up on your offer."
And now nearly a year later, I couldn't be happier! I've never loved a boy like this, never with so much surety that even the mere thought of marriage doesn't frighten me or make my heart jump around in my chest. But one thing that really reconfirms this for me is even MY PARENTS and HIS PARENTS are talking about it! And not with and 'if', it's with a 'when'. As is: WHEN you two get married.....This just both shocks yet enthrills me! My parents have never really approved nor liked a boyfriend of mine, and to hear them say something of that magnitude, it just makes me so happy I could cry! I crave their approval, but I know it's ultimately up to me. But on top of that, I feel so accepted into HIS family as well...I already feel adopted by them, as if I'm already a part of their family, and it's just amazing. I've already adopted them into mine, and it only feels natural that they have as well.
This year I also graduated from high school with honors being in the top 10 of my class of 187 students. I feel so incredibly accomplished! But I wouldn't have been able to get through any of this, along with all the distractions along the way, if it wasn't for most importantly God, or my family. My friends are great and have been there for most of the things going on in my life, but there's really not one of them that knows the whole picture. Some of them may know one part, and others know of a different part, but like I said there's no one that knows the whole story from start to finish. No one except God. He's been my best friend when no one was there, and He always kept me going even when my faith was weak and I just felt like giving up over trivial issues. And my family...God bless them...they've been there from square one, and even now are always by my side. We may still fight like cats and dogs over stupid things, and get in one another's faces because our pride gets the best of us, but we will never leave nor forsake each other because we are a family, and family sticks together no matter what. Our love will never die. Never. And that's what keeps this band of misfits together, is our love for God, and our love for each other.
I can't believe it's already as late as it is, but duty calls tomorrow and I must rest to be ready for the next sunrise. May God bless you all, and thank you for taking time out of your precious day to read a silly old update in the life of this silly girl.
~BeAuTiFuL_rOsE
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Thursday, April 26, 2012
In The Life of Me: Post 4
April 26, 2012
Dear Blog,
Well, it's defintely been a while since i've written on here...lol miss me? Nothing too exciting happening lately for me...except maybe my 5 month is coming up with my boyfriend Trae :) Starting next month on the 27, i will be in my longest relationship ever! :D lol that gets me excited, maybe not for anyone else, but as long as i'm excited that's all the matters :3
This blog actually might be kinda short, i don't really know what else to talk about...Lol my kitten Minnie keeps smelling the lightbulb in the lamp and it's kind of funny to watch ^w^ lol now she's chasing a runaway fly XD
Haha my little brother put in Marmaduke and i just heard George Lopez say, "Hey man, have you ever looked at your paws? I mean REALLY look at them???" lol XDDD
Well, right about now i'm just saying random stuff, so i'm just going to stop before i bore people to death ^^;; lol GOODNIGHT PEOPLE!! God Bless You!! :D
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
Dear Blog,
Well, it's defintely been a while since i've written on here...lol miss me? Nothing too exciting happening lately for me...except maybe my 5 month is coming up with my boyfriend Trae :) Starting next month on the 27, i will be in my longest relationship ever! :D lol that gets me excited, maybe not for anyone else, but as long as i'm excited that's all the matters :3
This blog actually might be kinda short, i don't really know what else to talk about...Lol my kitten Minnie keeps smelling the lightbulb in the lamp and it's kind of funny to watch ^w^ lol now she's chasing a runaway fly XD
Haha my little brother put in Marmaduke and i just heard George Lopez say, "Hey man, have you ever looked at your paws? I mean REALLY look at them???" lol XDDD
Well, right about now i'm just saying random stuff, so i'm just going to stop before i bore people to death ^^;; lol GOODNIGHT PEOPLE!! God Bless You!! :D
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
Monday, March 26, 2012
In the Life of Me: Post 3
March 26, 2012
Dear Blog,
Well, Sunday wasn't exactly the "funest"...The service was amazing and eye opening, but afterwards once me, Mama, and Dad started talking about it, the subject kind of veered off track.
Mama and Dad started arguing back and forth about something (i'm not going into it) and soon enough it turned from arguing to yelling and screaming...well, i knew my place from past mistakes of butting in and trying to calm everyone down, so i never said a word throughout any of it, but i simply got up once i had had my fill. I planned on going on a walk, but then i realized that i couldn't leave Christopher here by himself with them arguing like that...so i walked in and asked him if he wanted to go with me, he said yes so i told him to throw on him shoes and went and got dressed. I wasn't sure is it was alright to leave like that with him (as in over stepping my boundaries and all) but i made sure to tell them that we were going on a walk, and just walked out the door (i knew if it wasn't alright that one of them would say something before we had a chance to leave, so i wasn't worried to bad about it).
Chris and i enjoyed our walk, it was actually kind pretty outside that day! The sun was shining, and even when the clouds rolled by to block it out, it was still pleasant weather. :) When Christopher asked if i wanted to go home, i wasn't really sure if things had died down yet. But the Lord told me that it was alright, that everything would turn out ok. We had passed by a tree on our way home; it was in full bloom and as pretty as could be! Chris had stopped and picked one and gave it to me, and i suggested we pick one for Mama too (almost as a butter-up present ;3). We got home in one piece, and sure enough, just as the Lord had said, everything was calm seas from there on :D We gave Mama our flowers and she liked them, and i gave Dad and big long hug and i'm sure he appreciated it :) (i love my parents, but sometimes they're just crazy XP)
* * *
Today, in ROTC we had Cadet Challenge....oh. my. goodness! am i tired!!! XP
Today we did the Shuttle Run (where you run once to grab a block, run back but toss the block aside, turn around to run and grab the other block, then turn right back around and run through) and the Mile Run (self-explanatory, you run a mile around the track which is equivalent to 4 laps around ours). I didn't really have much trouble with the Shuttle Run, but the Mile Run kicked my butt! You see, i'm not exactly the most athletic girl out there, so i'm slightly out of shape. But you know what, I gave it my all and i ran/jogged hard, and afterwards i felt as weak as water.
After stopping, i can say i literally almost fell down on the track. My friend Cam came up behind me and started massaging my shoulders, and it felt really good. After that though he sat down next to me and told me that i could go inside and get water, but i had to come back. Well, the thought of getting up made me feel wobbly, so i just sat there breathing hard. He asked me if i wanted a piggy back ride down to the RO building, and at first the idea sounded silly and embarrassing, but after a couple of seconds i gave in and nodded my head. He threw on his shoes and helped me up to my feet; almost as soon as i stood up i felt light on my feet (and not in the good way). I basically fell over onto his back and he picked me up and carried me to the cool (well cooler than outside) climate of inside. He set me down in front of the water fountain and i almost fell over, but I caught the water fountain and Hannah (my friend) caught me to steady me so i could drink. *ok i don't want to get into too much more detail, and not because of the reason you think, but because i getting tired of describing everything in slight detail...so now i'm skipping to when the bell rang*
Once the bell rang for school to be over, i had NO idea how i was going to get the the bus without dragging my feet all the way there. Well, my friend Tyler had a different idea. He made sure i got at least half way there without falling over once, and once we saw Trae in the building, i don't know if he pushed me or if i pretty much tripped over my feet to get to him, but i pretty much fell on Trae and he caught me (lol i liked it though, i felt safe). Tyler told him that i was weak and with that Trae walked me (as always) to my bus. At some point in time Cam came up behind me and he was walking with us (me, Trae, and Tyler) down the hallway. I thought it was funny how i had 3 guys making sure i was ok; it was sweet and adorable, but i think Trae started getting jealous when Cam told him he gave me a piggy back ride to the RO building when i couldn't walk myself... >.>;; (uh oh)
But either way, i'm honored to have friends that care about me and will make sure i'm ok when i'm feeling down :) i'm most definetly blessed by the Lord to have the friends i do! And even though some of my friends might not be living right, i pray that the Lord will show them his glory and mercy and love through me :) You all have a blessed day today!
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
Dear Blog,
Well, Sunday wasn't exactly the "funest"...The service was amazing and eye opening, but afterwards once me, Mama, and Dad started talking about it, the subject kind of veered off track.
Mama and Dad started arguing back and forth about something (i'm not going into it) and soon enough it turned from arguing to yelling and screaming...well, i knew my place from past mistakes of butting in and trying to calm everyone down, so i never said a word throughout any of it, but i simply got up once i had had my fill. I planned on going on a walk, but then i realized that i couldn't leave Christopher here by himself with them arguing like that...so i walked in and asked him if he wanted to go with me, he said yes so i told him to throw on him shoes and went and got dressed. I wasn't sure is it was alright to leave like that with him (as in over stepping my boundaries and all) but i made sure to tell them that we were going on a walk, and just walked out the door (i knew if it wasn't alright that one of them would say something before we had a chance to leave, so i wasn't worried to bad about it).
Chris and i enjoyed our walk, it was actually kind pretty outside that day! The sun was shining, and even when the clouds rolled by to block it out, it was still pleasant weather. :) When Christopher asked if i wanted to go home, i wasn't really sure if things had died down yet. But the Lord told me that it was alright, that everything would turn out ok. We had passed by a tree on our way home; it was in full bloom and as pretty as could be! Chris had stopped and picked one and gave it to me, and i suggested we pick one for Mama too (almost as a butter-up present ;3). We got home in one piece, and sure enough, just as the Lord had said, everything was calm seas from there on :D We gave Mama our flowers and she liked them, and i gave Dad and big long hug and i'm sure he appreciated it :) (i love my parents, but sometimes they're just crazy XP)
* * *
Today, in ROTC we had Cadet Challenge....oh. my. goodness! am i tired!!! XP
Today we did the Shuttle Run (where you run once to grab a block, run back but toss the block aside, turn around to run and grab the other block, then turn right back around and run through) and the Mile Run (self-explanatory, you run a mile around the track which is equivalent to 4 laps around ours). I didn't really have much trouble with the Shuttle Run, but the Mile Run kicked my butt! You see, i'm not exactly the most athletic girl out there, so i'm slightly out of shape. But you know what, I gave it my all and i ran/jogged hard, and afterwards i felt as weak as water.
After stopping, i can say i literally almost fell down on the track. My friend Cam came up behind me and started massaging my shoulders, and it felt really good. After that though he sat down next to me and told me that i could go inside and get water, but i had to come back. Well, the thought of getting up made me feel wobbly, so i just sat there breathing hard. He asked me if i wanted a piggy back ride down to the RO building, and at first the idea sounded silly and embarrassing, but after a couple of seconds i gave in and nodded my head. He threw on his shoes and helped me up to my feet; almost as soon as i stood up i felt light on my feet (and not in the good way). I basically fell over onto his back and he picked me up and carried me to the cool (well cooler than outside) climate of inside. He set me down in front of the water fountain and i almost fell over, but I caught the water fountain and Hannah (my friend) caught me to steady me so i could drink. *ok i don't want to get into too much more detail, and not because of the reason you think, but because i getting tired of describing everything in slight detail...so now i'm skipping to when the bell rang*
Once the bell rang for school to be over, i had NO idea how i was going to get the the bus without dragging my feet all the way there. Well, my friend Tyler had a different idea. He made sure i got at least half way there without falling over once, and once we saw Trae in the building, i don't know if he pushed me or if i pretty much tripped over my feet to get to him, but i pretty much fell on Trae and he caught me (lol i liked it though, i felt safe). Tyler told him that i was weak and with that Trae walked me (as always) to my bus. At some point in time Cam came up behind me and he was walking with us (me, Trae, and Tyler) down the hallway. I thought it was funny how i had 3 guys making sure i was ok; it was sweet and adorable, but i think Trae started getting jealous when Cam told him he gave me a piggy back ride to the RO building when i couldn't walk myself... >.>;; (uh oh)
But either way, i'm honored to have friends that care about me and will make sure i'm ok when i'm feeling down :) i'm most definetly blessed by the Lord to have the friends i do! And even though some of my friends might not be living right, i pray that the Lord will show them his glory and mercy and love through me :) You all have a blessed day today!
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
Saturday, March 24, 2012
In the Life of Me: Post 2
March 24, 2012
Dear Blog,
Well, i don't think i've ever cried over one person so much at once...To start this off, yesterday my boyfriend Trae told me his mom said i could come over to hang out this weekend (and since i haven't been able to hang out with him for over a month, i really REALLY wanted to), so when i got home i asked my mom and she said to ask my dad (he was at work at the time, so i had to wait for him to get home). As soon as my dad got home though, dinner was ready, so i had planned on asking him later that night.
During dinner though, we had brussell sprouts as the veggie, and p.s. i HATE brussell sprouts, so i obviously had a hard time eating everything on my plate. Well, my parents started getting aggitated because i have a tendency to procrastinate when i don't want to do something and started hitting me with the "i should be grateful " gilt trip, and you know what? I was grateful, and i hate it when people make me feel bad about something, so i started snapping back (not the smartest idea i've ever had). So then my mom tells me "oh, and you can forget about asking your dad about tomorrow", and i started crying. I went to the bathroom and just sat there trying to dry my tears, then i wiped my eyes, blew my nose and went back out to finish my food. (i had figured if i didn't bug them about it, everything would be ok...) I finally finished my food and didn't say a word about it, and my mom told me that she would reconsider what was said (about me not being able to go to Trae's house). Well, i had thought there was a ray of hope for me, but nope, not. a. chance.
As soon as that was said, my mom asked me to do the laundry (which i had no problem doing) and after that my dad told me that i had forgotton to clean out the litter boxes (which i have a BIG problem doing) and i just walked away because i thought i could just do it tomorrow....bad choice. My mom got REALLY aggitated and did it herself....then when i asked if i could go to bed because it was after midnight, my dad told me no and made me stay up until almost 2 in the morning just to finish my homework...then while i'm sitting there doing my homework, he tells me "oh and you can forget about seeing Trae tomorrow, just to let you know"...and i'm pretty sure you can guess what i did next...(and if you don't, then scroll up and read what i did before :PP) so yeah, needless to say i had a really hard time not only seeing but reading and actually comprehending my homework...and by the time i finished, my brain was F.R.I.E.D.
So yepp, last night was not really the best for me :/ I'm ok right now though, i still really really really wish i could see him, but i don't really want to keep crying over the same exact issue...i'll most likely just be hanging out with my family today, but that's ok...i know we can get mad at each other and have problems, but i still love them no matter what :) Well, God Bless You and have a blessed day! <3
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
Dear Blog,
Well, i don't think i've ever cried over one person so much at once...To start this off, yesterday my boyfriend Trae told me his mom said i could come over to hang out this weekend (and since i haven't been able to hang out with him for over a month, i really REALLY wanted to), so when i got home i asked my mom and she said to ask my dad (he was at work at the time, so i had to wait for him to get home). As soon as my dad got home though, dinner was ready, so i had planned on asking him later that night.
During dinner though, we had brussell sprouts as the veggie, and p.s. i HATE brussell sprouts, so i obviously had a hard time eating everything on my plate. Well, my parents started getting aggitated because i have a tendency to procrastinate when i don't want to do something and started hitting me with the "i should be grateful " gilt trip, and you know what? I was grateful, and i hate it when people make me feel bad about something, so i started snapping back (not the smartest idea i've ever had). So then my mom tells me "oh, and you can forget about asking your dad about tomorrow", and i started crying. I went to the bathroom and just sat there trying to dry my tears, then i wiped my eyes, blew my nose and went back out to finish my food. (i had figured if i didn't bug them about it, everything would be ok...) I finally finished my food and didn't say a word about it, and my mom told me that she would reconsider what was said (about me not being able to go to Trae's house). Well, i had thought there was a ray of hope for me, but nope, not. a. chance.
As soon as that was said, my mom asked me to do the laundry (which i had no problem doing) and after that my dad told me that i had forgotton to clean out the litter boxes (which i have a BIG problem doing) and i just walked away because i thought i could just do it tomorrow....bad choice. My mom got REALLY aggitated and did it herself....then when i asked if i could go to bed because it was after midnight, my dad told me no and made me stay up until almost 2 in the morning just to finish my homework...then while i'm sitting there doing my homework, he tells me "oh and you can forget about seeing Trae tomorrow, just to let you know"...and i'm pretty sure you can guess what i did next...(and if you don't, then scroll up and read what i did before :PP) so yeah, needless to say i had a really hard time not only seeing but reading and actually comprehending my homework...and by the time i finished, my brain was F.R.I.E.D.
So yepp, last night was not really the best for me :/ I'm ok right now though, i still really really really wish i could see him, but i don't really want to keep crying over the same exact issue...i'll most likely just be hanging out with my family today, but that's ok...i know we can get mad at each other and have problems, but i still love them no matter what :) Well, God Bless You and have a blessed day! <3
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
Friday, March 23, 2012
In the Life of Me: Post 1
March 23, 2012
Dear Blog,
I feel lost on how to write on this thing, so i guess i'll just have to write as if i'm writing in an "online diary" of sorts lol
Well, today is probably the first time i've been able to get online all week...Lately, when i get home, i've been going to sleep for about 2 or 3 hours, then waking up at 6:30 or 7:00 to either start on my homework, help with dinner, etc. Then i typically stay up until 11:00 to 11:30 or later in order to finish it, and go to sleep exausted...only to get up at 6:00 in the morning for school....bleh, school is not very nice to me...
Ok, i know this is only my first post, but i must complain sometime, so right now is as good a time as any. I AM TIRED OF GUYS HITTING ON ME! do they not realize that when i say i'm taken, that means: Back off, man! i get aggitated when guys come up to me and tell me i'm pretty...yes, i do appriciate it, it's very sweet of them to say so, but i don't want to be liked because i'm "pretty" or "hot" or whatever they want to say...i want to be liked because they like me for who i am, not what i look like...also, why must most guys be so carnally minded?? do they not realize that being perverted, yes can be funny, but is a MAJOR turn-off for me?? CLEAN UP YOUR ACT GUYS, IT'S NOT COOL!! (and i'm not saying that it's only they guys, it's girls too)
If someone says that what you're saying offends them, don't you think it would be considerate of you to take it into consideration before doing it again (especially right off the bat!!!)? I THINK SO! i just get so fed up with people being inconsiderate and sarcastic when you say something to them because you don't like it. I can't even count the number of times i've had people go off on me JUST because i asked them not to say something because i didn't like it...it's rather anoying and it make me so mad i just want to scream...
Lol well, i think that enough complaining for this post ^^;; it's time to be happy again :DD I've had a pretty good day today (: i just want to say that i'm happy i'm eating again because a couple of days ago, my stomach was hurting bad..and when i say bad, i mean it HURT to move, and if it went away, as soon as i started moving again it would come RIGHT back XP well, i haven't had that ache in my stomach for the past couple of days, so i praise God for that!! :) I also got to see my love today, and as much as i wish i could spend more time with him, i don't want to see over bearing, so i give him is space...I love him dearly, the Lord knows that (and i hope HE knows that too :3), and i miss him it seems every second he's gone...but whenever other people are around, it's hard to think about him because i get so caught up in the feelings i get when i'm around my friends...almost as if i'm loved, as if i'm accepted...but when i'm alone, it all just dies away...feh, loneliness is not fun at all...
Well, i think this is enough for today! I guess i'll see you next time i remember to get on here ^w^;; BUH BYE!! :DD
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
Dear Blog,
I feel lost on how to write on this thing, so i guess i'll just have to write as if i'm writing in an "online diary" of sorts lol
Well, today is probably the first time i've been able to get online all week...Lately, when i get home, i've been going to sleep for about 2 or 3 hours, then waking up at 6:30 or 7:00 to either start on my homework, help with dinner, etc. Then i typically stay up until 11:00 to 11:30 or later in order to finish it, and go to sleep exausted...only to get up at 6:00 in the morning for school....bleh, school is not very nice to me...
Ok, i know this is only my first post, but i must complain sometime, so right now is as good a time as any. I AM TIRED OF GUYS HITTING ON ME! do they not realize that when i say i'm taken, that means: Back off, man! i get aggitated when guys come up to me and tell me i'm pretty...yes, i do appriciate it, it's very sweet of them to say so, but i don't want to be liked because i'm "pretty" or "hot" or whatever they want to say...i want to be liked because they like me for who i am, not what i look like...also, why must most guys be so carnally minded?? do they not realize that being perverted, yes can be funny, but is a MAJOR turn-off for me?? CLEAN UP YOUR ACT GUYS, IT'S NOT COOL!! (and i'm not saying that it's only they guys, it's girls too)
If someone says that what you're saying offends them, don't you think it would be considerate of you to take it into consideration before doing it again (especially right off the bat!!!)? I THINK SO! i just get so fed up with people being inconsiderate and sarcastic when you say something to them because you don't like it. I can't even count the number of times i've had people go off on me JUST because i asked them not to say something because i didn't like it...it's rather anoying and it make me so mad i just want to scream...
Lol well, i think that enough complaining for this post ^^;; it's time to be happy again :DD I've had a pretty good day today (: i just want to say that i'm happy i'm eating again because a couple of days ago, my stomach was hurting bad..and when i say bad, i mean it HURT to move, and if it went away, as soon as i started moving again it would come RIGHT back XP well, i haven't had that ache in my stomach for the past couple of days, so i praise God for that!! :) I also got to see my love today, and as much as i wish i could spend more time with him, i don't want to see over bearing, so i give him is space...I love him dearly, the Lord knows that (and i hope HE knows that too :3), and i miss him it seems every second he's gone...but whenever other people are around, it's hard to think about him because i get so caught up in the feelings i get when i'm around my friends...almost as if i'm loved, as if i'm accepted...but when i'm alone, it all just dies away...feh, loneliness is not fun at all...
Well, i think this is enough for today! I guess i'll see you next time i remember to get on here ^w^;; BUH BYE!! :DD
~BeAuTiFuL rOsE
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